Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Now That's a Public Bathroom

But is charging five pounds enough to keep it nice?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

It's Like Ivory, Only Made Out of Harriet

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Should I be disappointed that I don't have any wisdom teeth? (I never had any--I'm very highly evolved.) Or should I just be glad that no one will be wearing my bone as jewelry?

Friday, December 01, 2006

It's Official

I'm no longer part of the prime demographic. I can't remember where it begins and ends, but I'm fairly certain that, at the ripe old age of 35, I've been booted.

There was a period in my life where I was watching adult TV shows when other people my age were watching "Blossom" or whatever else they had for kids my age. My favorite show got canceled. Every single time.

When "Friends" came out, I liked it, so I was pretty sure it would be canceled. After all, lots smarter shows got canned, and I had liked those, too. But it didn't get canceled, and that's when I realized that I had become a part of the prime demographic--that my age (and therefore my presumed disposable income) meant that my opinion mattered just a little bit more than usual for a very brief period of time.

I know the market is thick with medical mysteries right now, and that "House" is a tough show to beat. I know that most people will probably only allocate one hour to the medical mystery in their weekly TV viewing, and to those people I say, "Of course you must choose `House.'"

And next to House, Stanley Tucci's character (whose name I didn't even have a chance to learn) was barely abrasive enough to warrant mention. But I was still pretty enamored of the show. And when I read of its cancelation yesterday, I realized that my time in the prime demographic is over.

I'm pretty sure after 35 you enter the category of "people who have lots of responsibilities to go with their money and therefore can't be as easily persuaded to part with huge wads of cash for largely irrelevant items." This means we get to sit back and pray that eventually some network will program the equivalent of "Murder She Wrote" in an attempt to win market share by courting the less desirable spenders in the TV audience.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to order some brochures on old folks homes.