Portrait of an Addict

You would think that if sixteen pairs of underwear arrived at your door, you'd be pretty much good to go, wouldn't you?

Au contraire. If you're me, you might look and say, "Hey, I should have eighteen pairs of underwear in this box." These things happen.

Well, I guess when you order eighteen pairs of underwear at a time (there was a sale--and there were so many colors! Oh, who am I kidding--the intervention is at 8 tomorrow morning, and you should bring brownies because of the triple-constraint) you become such a valuable customer that when you call and say that two of them are missing, they just send you the darn underwear. Because really, it's $6 and shipping, and people like me are obviously keeping them in business.

But it made me think. Where'd the other two pairs go?

I do not want to know what my UPS driver is wearing under his uniform.