Movie Blurbs

OK, so who out there has seen Iron Man? Come on, at least a few, billion, people have seen it, right? So given that a few billion people have seen it, how hard do you think it is to find someone who has actually seen it to write the movie blurb for Netflix? You know what I mean, the little synopsis that shows up on the disk sleeve when you get it, and shows up online to describe the movie as you browse. To use the technical term, the "movie blurb."

So check out what the blurbers over at Netflix put together to describe Iron Man:

"After ultrarich inventor and weapons maker Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) escapes from kidnappers using makeshift power armor, he turns his invention to good by using it to fight crime. But when he must face the evil Iron Monger, his skills are stretched to the limit."

Ok, so if you've seen the movie did you ever even hear the word "Iron Mongor?" Did you see any actual crime fighting going on? There was some international weapons trafficing being fought, around Afghanistan as I recall, but it's not exactly "crime fighting." I mean, I know that a) Iron Man was not the deepest, most complex movie on the planet, and that b) you've only got 1-2 sentences here so you can't get all that detailed anyway. But still, you'd think they could get something a bit more true to the movie than that. It sounds like Iron Man is stopping bank heists and gambling den's, for Chrissake.

So, two questions, dear readers. First, I know there are other movie blurbs out there much more egregious than this. I've seen em! I just can't, er, remember em. So if you think of any let me know and maybe we can post them and laugh. Second, anyone reading this have any idea how the whole movie blurb thing works? Is there some guy (Fred, perhaps, or Bob) who sits at home and writes a few sentences for every movie he's seen or, in this case evidently, heard about? Or do they get this from the studios? I'm sure somewhere in the T&S's huge readership the answers to these questions are just waiting to burst forth. And once I get them, I'll summarize them here, in a convenient two sentence answer blurb. Something like "After escaping unemployment by creating a make-shift resume, ex-movie critic Fred Bob uses his powers for good by writing movie blurbs to stave off movie ignorance in the Western world."

PS - I'm afraid that this post isn't even remotely funny. But it's Sunday morning and I'm trying. :o)

PPS - I just saw that there's already a blurb for Iron Man 2 on Netflix. The movie is due for release in 2010, so I guess we now know that they do not actually see the movie before blurbing it. Here's the description ...

Wealthy inventor and former weapons maker Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) continues to fight crime as his alter ego Iron Man, taking on villains intent on destroying humanity. But Stark's battle with the bottle may be his toughest challenge yet.

It sounds, uhm, craptacular. But maybe we shouldn't trust the blurbs??