Chuck is Really On a Roll

I've been having a hard time reading Chuck's vanity cards at the end of Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, and Mike & Molly. At first I thought this was because the print was getting smaller, but now I realize I'm just getting old. It's a shame because he's been writing some awesome cards:

The number one rule of human behavior might be "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But the number two rule is "people who try to exert moral authority tend to be hypocritical $#*! heads."
Chuck Lorre Productions #308

The last presidential election proved that we are capable of change.

The following two years proved that while we are capable of change, we won't.
Chuck Lorre Productions #299

To each of these, may I respond, "Word, Chuck. Word."

This reassured me, because many of my inner voices are more than a little douchey, and it's nice to know I'm not alone:

...perhaps more important than do's and don't's is learning to trust in the mysterious power of intuition. The soft inner voice that guides you to a better outcome than experience and logic could ever provide. This is what I call the Zen of Sitcom. The willingness to allow transcendence to play a part in the making of a TV show. Try it sometime in your own job. It can be the source of great inspiration. A word of warning though: it's not foolproof. If your business collapses or you wind up getting fired, you're probably hearing the same voice I listened to when I created Grace Under Fire, Cybill and four or five TV pilots that now function as landfill. If it's possible, try not to listen to that one. As inner voices go, it's kind of a douche.
Chuck Lorre Productions #306, Zen and the Art of Sitcom

I found this one a fascinating glimpse into the world of sitcom censorship:

Five days before tonight's episode was to air, I was informed by a high-ranking CBS exec that the swastika armband on the hot, crazy girl and the Hitler/Charlie Chaplin mustache on Alan were unacceptable for broadcast. In other words, eighteen years after Seinfeld went to a Neo-Nazi rally, forty-two years after Mel Brooks unveiled "Springtime for Hitler," forty-five years after Hogan's Heroes, and seventy-five years after Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck poked fun at the Third Reich, some genius at CBS who will remain anonymous (Marty Franks), decided that Two and a Half Men had crossed a line.
Chuck Lorre Productions #301, Censored

Well, when you put it that way, it certainly does seem absurd.

Two and a Half Men is sort of starting to get on my nerves (Alan is as unlikable as Charlie at this point, and my favorite characters--Evelyn, Berta and Charlie's therapist--really shouldn't be my favorites and have way too little screen time), but I'm a huge fan of BBT, and Mike and Molly seems sweet so far. As a longtime fan, I'm just thrilled to see so much Chuck-Lorre-branded entertainment available, and I'm looking forward to joining the promised Church of Chuck. I'm kind of hoping we can send a mannequin to church while we sleep in: