Charity Ends at Home

From now on, if you're a charity and I haven't heard of you, you're not getting my money unless I get a personal recommendation and have a chance to check you out. It's nothing personal. It's just that I have limited money for charity, and there are some real jerks out there. I can't afford to run the risk of lining some fraudster's pockets (my money doesn't go far for charity as it is), and so I've decided, hey, I know enough charities that I believe in, and it is okay to say no to the rest of them. If this offends you as a charity, get over it, because abuse happens.

Especially if you hire a professional fundraiser. Here's why. An outfit called "Professional Fundraisers" has been harassing me for the entire time I've lived in Phoenix. They call me several times a week asking for money for various causes (cops, firefighters, and veterans are their favorites). When I tell them no, they become abusive (one night a guy actually swore at me and told me he wept for me if I couldn't even come up with $25 to help the firefighters, and tonight they have hung up on me--twice). Tonight I reported them to the Better Business Bureau's Wise Giving Alliance. I also spoke to a "supervisor," and if they call me ONE more time, I'm reporting them to the FTC for refusing to add me to their organization's "do not call" list. I'm looking forward to it, because I'm absolutely sure they'll call again.

I have nothing against cops, firefighters or veterans. I have gladly given to those charities in the past. But when I called the local firefighters directly and told their charitable donations office about my problem, a really, really nice man told me that they don't mail out their own stuff, that these folks do it for them, and that if I had gotten on their list, he was truly sorry, but he didn't have the list and there was nothing he could do. I feel you, buddy. I really do. And it sucks that there aren't enough volunteers to stuff envelopes for you, because there should be. We take you for granted, and I know it. But I also know you're a nice man, and there is NO WAY you want me to put up with harassment 52 weeks a year (two and three times a WEEK this outfit calls me, TWICE tonight alone) to support your cause.

I'm moving soon, and I plan to circumvent this problem if I can. I'm choosing my 2007 charities now, and anyone else is going on a list for 2008. I'm putting aside some money in my charitable contributions budget in case a friend makes an appeal (like last year, when my friend Jon asked me to sponsor him in the Great Strides program for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation) or in case there's a disaster that I can contribute to through the United Way, the Red Cross, or some other verifiable charity.

It means I have to be a bitch to a lot of people who call me looking for money. I hate to resort to this, and it is not my first option, but I have to tell you, there are some real pit bulls out there raising money for charity, and telling them politely that you have a budget or that you don't contribute when people call on the phone does not faze them. Nor does telling them they've contacted you during dinner. Nor does telling them you've already told them no twice this year. Occasionally I have had success by telling them I just lost my job and would like to share my story with them. But that's about it.

Brace yourself, charities of the world. The bitch is answering my phone from now on.