Here it is!

Ok, well I couldn't wait. I didn't scan the bookmark, instead I found the same slogan on a frisbee! I mean this is even better, right? What could be cooler than a flying disk encouraging our youngsters to reach for the stars, not drugs!

So short story long here. My daughter, who is 6, brought home a bookmark from school with lots of pretty colors and a bright letters encouraging her to REACH FOR THE STARS. Cool. Then, right underneath, a smaller and less impressive admonition: "not drugs."

At which point I died laughing. I mean I suppose I should be grateful. Here I was, thinking I should be responsible for teaching my 6-year-old to avoid drugs! But no, thankfully that task is not mine! It belongs to the bookmark makers! And now I find, also, the frisbee makers. Whew, that's a load off of my shoulders, let me tell you. But then I think, wait, even if it's not my job anymore to help keep my child from using drugs by say, talking to her about drugs, telling her not to use them or maybe even, gasp, no, trying to make sure she's got the mental resources to avoid being trapped by drugs anyway; even then, something bugs me. A niggling doubt. Just a glimmer of a concern. What could it have been. Was it, oh I don't know .... Satan! No, no, wait, sorry, wrong skit. Not Satan. But maybe something like, Stupidity!

I mean, really, reach for the stars, not drugs!?! WTF? "I was about to hit the crack pipe again but THEN I remembered "reach for the stars, not drugs" so instead I joined the Corporate America Dad!" How exactly is that one going to work? "Just Say No" didn't work. Isn't that great, by the way? Here is the DARE program, the program of the nation to keep kids of drugs. And it consisted in large part of telling kids not to do drugs. That was about it. And it didn't work. Sorry Nancy, but the facts is the facts. But I think I know now why it failed .... Wait for it ..... Yup, the frisbees. I can't remember any Just Say No frisbees. Or bookmarks. Silly buggers were just asking for failure when they forgot the frisbees.

But still, even with the frisbees, and the bookmarks targeted for 6-year-olds, I think our slogan manufacturers have a hell of a job wiping out teenage drug use. So perhaps we can help them! I think "Reach for the stars, not drugs" is a good start, but we can do better! What else can we come up with?

I'll try a few, and you can all join in as you think of them:

"Give a hoot, don't pollute (or do drugs)"

"Let's take a bite out of crime (and not do drugs)"

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going but without drugs"

Surely you can see the potential here?! Help me out, post a few of your own new anti-drug slogans and we can all take a bite out of drug use! (Yuhmmmmm, pot brownies).

One little caveat I just have to put in here (damn guilty conscience). I realize that what I typed above may sound really belittling about drug problems, and that was not my intent. Drug addiction can be really incredibly awful in some people's lives, and it is a complex problem that has, among other things, social, psychological, and economic roots that are not necessarily solved by "good parenting." I guess my point is mainly that as complex as it is, I'm just really really sure it is not going to be solved even a little by good slogans. Or even bad slogans. The whole thing just reeks of people not having the knowledge or will to take on a really difficult task and so falling back on moralistic platitudes so that they can say they've "done something." Yuck. But I still want to hear your slogans. Reach for the stars!