Chain Letters That Burn My Cookies

Every year I get some version of this dumbass chain letter (this year's urges Americans not to buy gas on May 15th). I guess if Americans like anything better than complaining, it's an ineffective display of power. "Hey, gang, let's all buy gas on Monday instead of Tuesday." Yes, the world trembles before us--we managed to avoid buying gas for 24 hours. This strategy is the equivalent of saying that I'm saving hot water by not running the kitchen sink--and then going and taking a long, hot shower.

I honestly think people continue to send me the e-mail because they enjoy watching me go out and find the article on the web that says it's a bunch of horse manure. Well, here's your damn link. And I'm just going to say:

• I'm not going to buy gas tomorrow, because I no longer own a car.
• Even when I did own a car, the odds are good that tomorrow would not have been the one day a month that I needed to buy it gas.
• If it were the one day I needed to buy gas, I would buy it, because not buying gas tomorrow is silly.
• I promise to walk to and from work tomorrow, and to do whatever else I can to reduce my energy usage for a whole 24 hours. Personally, I think that would be a way cooler chain e-mail (and it's still more fun than hardship--there are precious few things it hurts to give up for 24 hours, and almost all of them are more fun by candlelight).
  
• If cheap gas is a priority for you, may I suggest scenic Venezuela (a bonus: I bet they have some big ol' spiders there, too). Less than 25 cents a gallon, baby.
  
• If you want to feel better about what you pay for gas without doing anything, maybe this will help: in England you'd be paying between $6.50 and $8.50 a gallon.