What are they filming on State Street?

And why, God, why did it not result in my having a meet-cute with Edward Norton?

Seriously. I'm about the most distracted person on earth these days (yeah, remember when I was riding in the elevator with Annie Leibovitz?), and yesterday, after far too little sleep, I walked straight onto a location shot. Fortunately, they weren't filming at the time, which is good, because I have seen a director while he's burning film, and it would have given new meaning to the term "location shot."

You may not think I'm a complete idiot yet. Let me assure you that I am. Have you ever seen a film location? They are not hard to spot. All I can say is that the general activity and crap everywhere looked just like everyplace else you're trying to walk here. All that was around was a bunch of craft service trucks, a whole lotta crew in black t-shirts, and a lot of orange cones. If you avoid orange cones while you're walking in New York you will NEVER get where you are going. And as for big noisy trucks and dudes wearing black t-shirts, well, I have to say, they didn't strike me as remarkable, because you can throw a stone anywhere here and you'll hit one or the other. In fact, the remarkable thing would be finding a stone.

So it wasn't until I was in the middle of the whole affair that I realized I didn't belong there. Believe me, they were as surprised as I was. Particularly when I looked up and immediately registered, "oh, film set" and just walked off to the other side of the street without any interest in what they were doing. I love movies. Love 'em. But I have learned several things about the industry, and when I'm confronted with a filming situation, my first instinct is to get the hell away from it as fast as humanly possible--not because it isn't magic, but because if you don't belong there, you are In The Way. If I weren't agnostic, I would also say a prayer, because based on what I've seen and heard, there's no good reason there aren't more crew deaths on movie sets. It is a miracle that so many movies wrap without a fatality, and I don't want some poor guy in a black t-shirt to take me out on his way down as he falls off the top of a truck.

I daresay they were entertained by my cluelessness, especially since I was wearing a particularly fetching Ugly Betty ensemble yesterday. I was wearing a green skirt, a fugly brown wool sweater, and super ugly $8 shoes. Actually, I think Betty dresses better than I was dressed on my way home yesterday. (The sweater is the "sweater of last resort" you keep in your desk, but apparently New Yorkers are so addicted to air conditioning that they flip it on the first time they see the sun and don't turn it off again until someone can't make it into work because of all the snow. By the time I left work I was convinced I would never be warm again and actually wore the damn thing home. The green skirt is lovely in the right context, but the fugly brown sweater made it look hickish and homely. I'm not even going to defend the shoes. They were comfortable, and I'm not from around here. Mea culpa.)

Anyway, I ran into them again tonight, and this time I was properly attired (i.e., I was able to pass as a normal person). Naturally they had the street cordoned off like a crime scene, but they needn't have worried--I was looking out for them this time. Also had an eye out for Edward Norton, but, ya know, if he didn't show when I was kitted out in my hick-from-the-sticks finery, he's not showing up at all. Men have a knack for bad timing, and I'm sure he's no exception.