I'm coming down with a cold. At least, I think I am. Since I got divorced, I'm hardly ever sick any more, but I feel icky and just spent a week marinading in my mother's cold germs. I sincerely hope I'm not that sick for that long--she's been horribly ill for a week now, and naturally hasn't seen a doctor, even though she's looking longingly at all the cold medicines she can't take because they disagree with her high-blood-pressure medication.
ANYway, my standard strategy when I'm sick is to hunker on the sofa with soup and orange juice and tea and club soda and...and I'm aware that this is disgusting...hot Tang. Yes, Tang, the astronaut beverage. Hot and really strong. It's a bizarro comfort thing that an old roommate used to make me when I was ill, and I only ever drink it when I'm sick. It makes me feel loved and marginally more healthy.
So today, as I was heading home from the doctor, having had a rotten day that involved getting lost (not exactly lost, but near enough) on the Manhattan subway, falling down in the street, not being able to find my doctor's office, and not being able to catch a local train back to my station, I thought, well, I can still salvage the day by stopping at the market and buying Tang. That way, when I get home, I can make myself a cup of hot Tang and go to bed.
It looked a little different, but I wasn't suspicious. I bought it and brought it home. It appeared to be more concentrated than it used to be. Now I was a little concerned. I made a cup, and as I sipped it I discovered that they have tried to make Tang healthy by replacing half the sugar with sucralose.
Tang is never going to be healthy. The best you can hope for is a violent dose of vitamin C and a sugar rush that either puts you into a coma or enables you to stagger around your apartment rounding up cough drops. Also, artificial sweeteners taste foul. Now, I'm aware that Tang is not going to win any Michelin stars, but at least any aftertaste it had before was orange-drink-for-astronauts-flavored aftertaste. Original Tang is apparently no longer available. This new stuff is vile, and now I'm sick and extra-pathetic.
Fie on you, Kraft! A pox on your sucralose-loving house.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That sucks! I grew up with Tang and I loved it the way it was. P.S. the one decent thing about falling down on the ground in New York are people are too busy to gawk at you for being a dork (Not that you are a dork - I just know because I fell down on the subway stairs once or twice...doing my best Carol Burnett impression). Bad thing- ewwww the ground is nasty.
Post a Comment