Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Famous person blogs

Sometimes I wish I were a famous person.

Well, no I don't wish I was a famous person. Ever.

Quick digression. I, Shifter, have been on TV a few times. For work. People saw me and commented on it, for months. And the TV station ran the damn show over and over again (it was an educational section on a "hot topic") and every time they did I'd have someone come up and say how well I came off. And I hated it. I rather like blending in, and all that attention, even in small doses, is annoying. To this day I've never watched the program, even though they gave me my own copy on DVD, because why would I want to feel all that embarrassment? There is no way I'll like it. I'll just think "Oh my god, did I say that!?" So I avoid it. I tell you that to just help you see how much I do not want to be famous. End of digression.

So I don't want to be famous. But sometimes I wish I wrote a famous person's blog. Why, you ask? Because famous people don't really have to blog about anything interesting. Whatever they say is somehow more interesting because, well, they're famous. So like let's say I'm famous, right, I'm a TV star. I'm on Criminal Minds or something. If I was going to be famous on a TV show right now I'd pick Criminal Minds. But anyway. And then I sit down to blog and I blog about how I ate pizza at Little Joey's on 5th street and they have the best pizza ever and the waitress is kind of cute. If I'm Famous Criminal Minds Shifter people will read that. They'll read it, and they'll be interested, and they'll care, in some weird, weird way about my pizza and the cute waitress. Now let's say that I'm NOT famous (a real stretch, I know, but give it a try - just imagine it) and I'm Normal Everyday Guy Shifter and I sit down and I write the EXACT SAME blog. About pizza and waitresses and so forth. And someone somehow manages to read it. You know what people will think, what you'll think? Sure you do - the same thing I would think. "I. Don't. Care." You'll think "I ate lunch today too, and there was a waitress there too, but nobody cares and so I didn't bother to blog about it." And if you're thinking that, well, you're exactly right. Nobody would care about what Ordinary Guy Shifter ate. Nor should they. Hence my dislike of diary blogs.

But diary blogs work great if you're famous. They also work fine if you're a very, very good writer. If you can write a post about pizza and cute waitresses that somehow warms the heart, tickles the funny bone, and soothes the soul all at once. If that's the case it can work well. And those bloggers are out there. And they're damned impressive too. They can write about postage stamps and make you cry, or slush on the streets and make you laugh out loud. They're awesome.

But if you're not that great of a writer, and you're not that famous, then you have to try to come up with something else to write about that has some shred of interest to someone, or at least an imagined someone, and that takes more work. Yup, we ordinary every day Joe Schmoe bloggers may be unfamous, and we may be unfabulous writers, but we try harder, damnit. We work for our blogs. And all of our imaginary readers just appreciate the hell out of it. No doubt about that, I imagine.

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