But "Spin" Sounds Like Fun

I've been trying to take good care of myself. It's hard work. I'm pretty high maintenance. It's kind of like having a puppy and then realizing that the puppy needs to be walked and played with every day! Whose idea was this puppy, anyway?

The meditation (which is more challenging than it sounds--my brain wanders so much that it's like trying to teach algebra to a six-year-old inside Toys Backwards-R Us) is just the beginning. I'm also trying to exercise regularly. Turns out that exercise goes a long way toward turning off the committees in my head.

Have I mentioned the committees? I don't usually talk about them because I'm afraid that it'll lead to my being involuntarily committed (ha ha) to some state facility. I should stress that I in no way believe that there are actual committees inside my head. The committees are my way of visualizing (and mocking) the less-than-constructive thought processes that are going on in my head all the time.

There's the "Katy is a moron" committee--usually they favor white boards, but occasionally they get enough funding for 3D modeling and simulations. Their work product ranges from stuff that looks a lot like Father Ted's plan to rescue Father Dougal from the milk float to the 3D animations you see on some of the more fanciful police procedural shows (and the third bullet struck the victim here at this angle, thus conclusively proving that Katy is a moron). There's the "Wow, I can't believe you did something that bitchy" committee. It has a lot of filing cabinets, the better to keep track of every moment where I've unwittingly offended someone--and there are many. You get the idea.

Anyway, exercise seems to tucker them out--the harder, the better. Which is how I started taking spin classes. I say "started taking," but really I've only taken two, and the second reduced me to tears. Luckily I was sweating so much that no one could really tell.

The first spin class was taught by a large Jamaican man. I don't know about you, but I associate the Jamaican men in my life with a very laid-back attitude. Granted, the Jamaican men in my life are Lenny Henry (who is not so much in my life as on my television) and that one guy I used to work with. This man was freakishly laid back and yet intent on torturing me (so more like that one guy I used to work with). He didn't actually bike in the spin class. Instead he just walked back and forth at the front of the class torturing us. "Turn the tension up a little higher." "Turn the tension all the way up." It was a dislocating experience, and it kicked my ass.

Nonetheless, I had gone to the spin class in a quest for endorphins. Endorphins tend to zone the committees out--sort of like I gave them all big fat doobies. Sometimes I even reach the "high" that normal people consider a baseline, where I think I might be an okay person. The spin class paid off big time. The committees sat around all night drinking water and saying, "Dude, I can't believe you just did that." I felt average, which, when the committees have had their way with me for a couple of weeks, is an amazing high.

So I did it again. This time the class was led by an Amazon. Seriously. Wonder Woman and Xena had nothing on this broad. And the class totally kicked my ass, in such a way that the first ass-kicking seemed like a cakewalk. In the first class, I did "okay for my first spin class." This time I was just pathetic. I was working hard and getting nowhere (which should be fitting for a class that takes place on stationary bikes, but you really did have the impression that the other women could ride a bike up the side of Mount Everest, whereas I couldn't ride mine up a steep suburban driveway). Sweat was pouring off me, but I couldn't keep up at all.

The funny thing is that afterwards, I still felt great (I didn't stop, and that's something). I even talked to the spin instructor and asked her if she had any ideas. She explained how to leverage my time sitting on the bike (most of the class stands on the bike for pretty much all the time, but I couldn't even manage to do that for 20 seconds at a time) so that I'd eventually be able to do more and more. She also helped me figure out how to adjust my bike so that I was using the spin class to build up enough strength, telling me that when I was able to stand the way the rest of the class could, I could move my seat to where I'd had it before.

Stay tuned. I think more spin classes are in my future. I might also try boxing, because I could really stand to take out some aggression on a committee member or two.