What a relief

Shifter here. So this morning I was taking a shower (yes, I do that from time to time and no, no further details will be provided). But as I was taking a shower and scrubbing my head I noticed that I had a loose hair on my head. As I watched it go down the drain I felt a surge of panic. Oh no, I'm losing my hair! Every man's worst nightmare! No one will ever find me attractive again! And then it hit me, thankfully, before I could really start to panic. You're already bald, you idiot! Any hair you lose now is one less you have to shave off when what's left of your hair exceeds the Jean Luc Picard level. Which is entirely true - I have few enough hairs left that it's easier to shave them off then to try to make believe they're anything more than the sad and final vestiges of my youth. What a relief to remember that. Thanks brain, for reminding me. I owe you one.

I was wondering if there might be other times my brain could help me out that way. Did I sound like an arrogant jackass in that last conversation? You are an arrogant jackass, you idiot! Whew, what a relief - nothing to hide now. Do I look like I have a double chin in this picture? Only because you do. Again, whew.

I don't know if I should feel fortunate or not, but I have a feeling my brain will delight in providing these helpful hints for many years to come. Not permanently though. Just until senility sets in. Or maybe even then. I can picture it. I just can't remember his name! That's because you're demented, you geezer. Ah, serenity.