Target Acquired

Tonight, thanks to a very sweet friend from work, I acquired a television. I don't have it here with me, because taking it home on the Long Island Railroad seemed like kind of a stretch, but the very same sweet friend is going to deliver it tomorrow.

I have been practically TV-less since March 13. March 13 is when I moved to Brooklyn, and I moved here with two duffel bags. Strangely, rather than put a TV in one of those duffel bags, I chose other things (like underwear). Then sometime in June or July (I don't even remember) the movers came and brought my stuff. And they brought my TV.

Since I hadn't yet ordered cable, I thought, well, at least I can watch a DVD on it, so I plugged it in. It exhibited weird behavior for a while, as though possessed by evil spirits, and then settled into a truculent pout. It decided that it would allow me to watch DVD's, but that's all. It responds to no commands--no volume control, no channel-changing, no input selection, and above all, no off switch (it's kind of like Hal 2000 in this respect). Eventually I unplugged it, and since then we've lived in an uneasy detente, where I don't ask it to do anything and it doesn't kill me in my sleep.

But in my heart, I am a TV junkie. I have fought the good fight, watching the end of the last season online (thank you, ABC, for pioneering this--and a big raspberry to NBC for not posting the Biggest Loser on the web--suckers). But ultimately, when I'm sick or down, a mug of tea and a comforter on the sofa in front of the TV is a damn fine luxury. So the evil TV must be replaced.

I was thinking of buying an LCD TV anyway. So sleek. So skinny. So totally right for my very tiny apartment! Finally, fueled by the desire to watch Bones and see the culmination of Barney and Marshal's slap bet, I was driven to purchase a TV. Finding an LCD small enough for my eensy-beensy apartment was no mean feat--my new TV didn't even make the TV wall at Best Buy. But I have to say, it is a thing of beauty. At 26", it is still a larger picture than my old TV, and unlike my old TV, it doesn't have miles of fat ass dragging along behind it. It's also lighter, which my current TV stand would really have appreciated (it's sad and saggy in the middle, and being bolstered by a jar of instant P.G. Tipps). Soon, there will be a new TV stand, too (because you can totally have a skinnier TV stand now that the TV's fat ass doesn't require such an enormous plinth), but I don't want to get too crazy.

Excuse me. I think I need to go to sleep all cuddled up with the extended warranty.