Thursday, March 22, 2007

Air Mattress Says, "Hsssssssssssss!"

I got back from a business trip last night, and the air mattress was getting a little low. Not unusual after two days unattended, I figured, so I pumped it up...and immediately heard the most depressing sound ever. I thought maybe it would at least be a slow enough leak that I could sleep on it tonight and wake up on the floor, but it turns out that the air mattress is a crafty devil. First, it keeps you awake with its hissing, and then it gently deposits you on your hardwood floor. Luckily, I was just too tired to cry. And in a gesture of human kindness that's far better than luck, a gallant human with a bed took pity on me after only a few minutes of making fun of me. Still, the world of air mattresses is never going to be a rich or compelling world for me. I plan to run away from it as fast as humanly possible.

9 more days you little bastard. 9 more days.

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