Thursday, July 30, 2009

Noah = twisted

Have you ever wondered why Christians tell the tale of Noah to all the little kids? It's like one of the number 1 kid stories from the bible. Why? It's not really a great story for kids. I mean, sure, it has animals and stuff, and boats, and I guess those are both kid things. But it also has the destruction of all life on the planet except for the two elephants, two tigers, two mosquitos, two aardvarks, two geckos, and 2 giraffes on the boat. That's really very grim. It's like the biggest holocaust in the entire bible, and it's a favorite kid story. And it doesn't really put god in that good of a light, does it? He got so mad at everyone for screwing up that he decided to kill everyone except his favorite. And he rewarded that favorite by making him work his ass off and spend a bunch of time in a big wooden boat that is packed with fighting animals and, presumably, an inordinate amount of animal doodie. I mean I hear a story like that and I'm kind of like, wow, what a dick! But they hear it and say "what a wonderful story to teach our kids about the lord!" Werid weird weird. Chapter 2 should be the 7 plagues of Egypt - still more light story telling for the child in all of us.

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