Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Ninja Ants

My home has been invaded by tiny ninja ants.  They appear instantly (in 2-5 minutes) around certain types of food (they seem to love popcorn--I guess they're my ant soul mates).  They are teeny tiny black ants, and although there don't seem to be a lot of them, they're so tiny that there could be hordes of them for all I know.  I've been dealing with the problem by trying to be careful about cleaning up thoroughly (often with bleach) after I eat, cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom every day, and vacuuming the entire ground floor every day, but they keep coming.
Normally this wouldn't be a problem for me.  My house usually doesn't contain enough food to be an issue, but lately I've been re-committing to the DASH diet in an effort to lose the 10 pounds I gained on my last project (quick, before the next one starts).  The project weight gain seems to be common--I saw a colleague for the first time in a few months yesterday and he has gained a truly dramatic amount while he's been on the EMEA implementation.  As a result of this DASH diet effort, my home is crammed full of whole grains (which they love--no high blood pressure for ninja ants, no siree), fruit, salad fixings, etc. 
This morning I was making my salads for the rest of the week.  In an effort to cram as much nutrition as possible into a meal I pay relatively little attention to, each salad consists of 3-4 cups of spinach, 1/2 cup of sliced cucumbers, 1/2 cup of garbanzo and/or kidney beans, 1/2 cup of dried blueberries and cranberries, a handful of walnuts, and fat-free dressing.  I had two salads worth of dried fruit and nuts in a brand new fit-fresh container, put the lid on, and started to shake it to mix them up a little.  Naturally the container exploded and carpeted my kitchen floor with dried fruit and nuts.
I took two minutes to salvage what I could from my fortunately squeaky-clean countertop, and then turned my attention to the floor.  As I swept up and vacuumed and did a once over with a mop, I discovered a single ant ALREADY at the spill scene.  Darn those crafty devils!  If we could harness their efficiency in the work world, we would make billions of dollars.  Mark my words, there's a "who moved my cheese" style business book in this concept.  Unfortunately for me, I'll be spending so much time vacuuming and cleaning that I'll be unable to pursue the notion.
As an aside, the fit fresh containers are all a huge disappointment to me.  It shames me to my very core that I fell for it at all.  The concept is that the containers have measurements to help you with portion control, plus (and this was the selling point for me) lids with integrated blue-ice containers.  It's a great plan if you need to take food to the office, especially if you want to stash it in your desk because you expect to be chained to your laptop and unable to get to the kitchen.  Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.  The blue ice inevitably (I mean it--every time) falls off the lid (it's supposed to be anchored there) and onto your food, crushing and wetting the food rather than keeping it cold.  So what you have once you discard the blue ice is...a really expensive tupperware container.  Ten out of ten for the concept, minus several million for execution.  If you were thinking of buying one of these items, I urge you to investigate the many wonderful low-end, dishwasher-safe tupperware containers sold at your supermarket.  These and these are my favorites.

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