Thursday, February 04, 2010

High on Lack of Pain

For the last couple of months I've been battling pain. Until about yesterday I would never have said severe pain, but I guess the human body can get used to a lot. I had an untreated medical condition and it was just getting worse and worse while I tried to convince people to treat it. Finally today I got desperate enough to just walk into a hospital emergency room where a doctor heard what I had to say and believed me enough to give me surgery. The PA who did the surgery was absolutely wonderful, and after she finished I had the weirdest feeling.

I felt like a million dollars. I had a gaping wound and a giant pressure bandage, but I felt capable of absolutely anything. Left to my own devices, I would have gone to work or gotten on the treadmill, but she advised me to go home and rest. I left the hospital and went grocery shopping (because it was on the way home). I went to the pharmacy and got my prescriptions filled. I went home and sat down for ten minutes before getting on the treadmill (no kidding, that was actually my plan). As soon as I sat down on my own couch, exhaustion overtook me and I went to sleep for hours.

I woke up with slight pain from the surgery, but honestly? The freedom from the pain that had gradually ratcheted up over the last 60 days feels like a drug. I find it very hard to believe that the painkillers I've been prescribed will improve this feeling at all, although they might take the edge off the anger I have at all the medical professionals who denied it to me until today.... Maybe.

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